Bicycles, Headlights, and Having Faith

I went running the other night (No, nobody hacked my computer and the blog bandits aren't out to get me. I really did run, okay? MIRACLES HAPPEN EVERY DAY, PEOPLE!) and passed two kids riding their bikes home as their parents followed behind them in a suburban, headlights beaming. 

I made like Bob Seger and reminisced about the days of old.

Oh, the memories. 

It seems like just yesterday my parents were trailing behind me as I biked home because I had, once again, stayed too late at a friend's house (ordering surprise pizzas for the neighbors across the street, of course). 

Looking back, I can't help but wonder...
COULDN'T MY PARENTS HAVE PUT MY BIKE IN THE BACK OF THEIR VEHICLE SO I DIDN'T HAVE TO RIDE IT HOME IN THE DARK????????????? 

I would say I'm stronger because of it, but I still have to walk my bike up hills...

Anyway, I watched as their bikes flirted with the shadows and then swiveled back into the soft glow of light that stretched before them. 

The suburban's headlights guided the two kids around the corner and out of sight.

As I continued running (dying) I imagined God driving the suburban. I envisioned Him behind the wheel, shining the headlights on His children as they pedaled quickly in front of Him, unsure of what lies ahead but moving forward nonetheless.

That, my friends, is what it means to have faith.

Walking through life with God is a lot like a bike ride home through the dark with your parents following closely behind. We can't see what lies ahead. We don't know which path to take or what will be around the corner.

We're simply riding by His headlights, trusting that He will lead us down the path He sees best fit.

We may swing a left here, jump a curb there, stop and walk our bike uphill (or for the next block or two...BIKE-WALKERS UNITE!) or worse...get our shoelaces stuck in the pedals (the mother of all bike accidents)...but because God has been faithful in the past, we can be confident He will be faithful in the future!

I REPEAT: BECAUSE GOD HAS BEEN FAITHFUL IN THE PAST, WE CAN BE CONFIDENT HE WILL BE FAITHFUL IN THE FUTURE!

For example, right now I'm watching webinars, taking notes from Michael Hyatt, and trying to plan speaking engagements. I don't know what will happen next or what the end result will be...but what I DO know is that God has always come through. He has always made my paths straight. I've always ended up right where He intended me to be. 

I may not be able to see what lies ahead, but I have faith God will get me wherever it is I'm going, just as He always has. 

We need to trust God the same way we trusted our parents when we were just little kids biking home after dark...because it's through the darkness we learn to trust His guidance, His vision!

I realize now why my parents didn't let me ride shotgun and take the easy way out. It wasn't because they saw potential in my cycling skills and thought I'd race the Tour de France one day. It was because they wanted to prove their faithfulness to me. Every time they led me home through the dark, they gained more of my trust. 

As darkness falls and the fog rises, may we ride by God's "headlights" today the same way we rode by our parents' headlights back then. 

God, transform our hearts. Show us what it looks like to have a childlike faith. May we stop hesitating and start moving. There are times we forget Your faithfulness. Remind us. Remind us every single day...and let us never stop trusting You and the plan You have for our lives. Amen.

Two Things I'd Forgotten

One of the speakers for The Influence and Impact Summit I participated in last week was Glennon Doyle Melton. During her interview, she mentioned something that really caught my attention: "Whatever you need in that moment of the day is what everyone needs...the most personal stuff is the most universal."

Since reading that, I've been asking myself, "What do I need to hear right now? What is something we ALL need to hear?" Two things came to mind. I tried to put it off but I know I won't be able to go to sleep until I write this...so if it's not my best work, forgive me because it's 2:30AM while I'm writing this and my eyes burn. 

The things I need to hear are often the same things I've heard a thousand times. I just forget and need to be reminded. 

I figured you did, too, so here are two things I needed to hear this weekend, two things we all need to be reminded of every once in a while:

1) You are not your past. 

The person you were 8 months ago, 8 weeks ago, or 8 days ago is not the person you are today. Your mistakes don't define you because you have redemption through Jesus Christ and that redemption frees you from guilt. It frees you from your past. It frees you from your sin. 

You are forgiven.

You are loved.

You are saved.

He is faithful and just, and when we confess our "mess-ups" and sins to Him, He cleanses us from all unrighteousness. HE BLOTS OUT OUR TRANSGRESSIONS! 

We may not always be forgiven by others here on earth, but we are ALREADY forgiven by our Father in Heaven because of the blood Jesus shed for us on the cross. 

2) "You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world and there's still going to be somebody who hates peaches." 

You will not be liked by everyone. In fact, you will be hated by some. Did you "recovering people-pleasers" cringe when I said that? 

It's true, though. 

Peach-haters are just a big ol' fact of life...and how do we handle those big ol' facts of life? By making peach pie, drinking peach tea, and eating peach cobbler. 

Hopefully you've caught on by now and know I'm not actually talking about peaches. 

I'm talking about cranberries. 

I'm kidding again. Don't sign me up for a comedy tour just yet.

Basically what I'm trying to say is...don't ever stop being the person you are. Even if you're called fake, even if people try to make you feel you're not good enough, even if people seem to go out of their way to hurt you. Don't change for anybody. Unless we're talking about clothes and you "got the hummus" like Phoebe did on Friends. 

In that case, by all means, change your clothes.

Never stop smiling. 
Keep being kind. 
Stay true to yourself. 
Be confident in the person you are. 

If you know who you are, whose you are, and where you stand, nothing and nobody can you knock you down. 

God will provide the people you need if He hasn't already...people who will love you, support you, guide you, listen to you, encourage you, etc. no matter what comes your way. Together, you will weather life's toughest storms. These are the only people you need in your close-knit circle. They are your "tribe" (as Jen Hatmaker calls it) or your "squad" (as Taylor Swift calls it). 

You may lose a few and add a few throughout the years, and that's okay. That, too, is a big ol' fact of life. People will try to make you feel guilty about it. Don't let them. You may find yourself questioning the decision down the road. Trust yourself and know that you did it for a reason, even if it's hard to remember that reason at times...even if nobody else understands that reasoning.  

I don't have a cool name for my team/tribe/squad/gang/crew, but I love them and I am so very thankful for them. You know who you are! 

The weekend was good to me. I had a lot of time to think and reflect. 

Life is hard and it's easy to forget what's important to remember. I had forgotten. I honestly had...and I know I'm not alone. I don't know who else besides me needed to hear this today but I pray you find yourself encouraged. 

Enjoy your Monday, friends! 

Finding Your "Sweet Spot" in Life

As you know, I'm participating in The Influence and Impact Summit. 

During his interview, Michael Hyatt bluntly states, "I have a stewardship obligation to use [my talents] for the benefit of other people." 

We all do. 

As a result of his increased influence, Hyatt has received emails and letters telling him that he has changed their life and made it better in some way. To him, that is what he finds most rewarding. It makes him feel as if he's fulfilling his purpose, that he's in his "sweet spot" and doing the thing he was created to do.

If you haven't noticed already, I absolutely love using basketball as a metaphor to describe life, so when he used "sweet spot" to describe his purpose, I couldn't help but want to add to that. 

In basketball, your "sweet spot" is the spot on the court you love to shoot from because you know you'll make it. It's often your go-to during a game of Horse because you know the odds of you missing are very slim. You can shoot from that spot all day long. The biggest mistake your opponent can make while playing defense is sagging off of you when you're standing in your spot on the floor. 

My "sweet spot" is the 15-footer. I can vividly remember standing in my "sweet spot" during a playoff game against Harleton when my opponent suddenly sagged off me. 

"OOPS!" is right.

I looked her in the eye, took a step back, and let it rip.

Nothing is more satisfying!

Everyone's "sweet spot" is different. Some may be at the top of the key, some may be a baseline shot. It varies according to each player but the sense of satisfaction one feels after shooting from their "sweet spot" is one in the same.

As mentioned earlier, I would like to take what Michael said about having found his "sweet spot" in life and discuss it further because my faith was heavily influenced by basketball and I will jump at the opportunity to compare the two.

Just as we each have a "sweet spot" on the basketball court, we each have a "sweet spot" in life. 

It's different for every individual, but the purpose is the same: to point others towards Him. 

Your "sweet spot" in life is the gifts and talents God has given you to help advance His Kingdom here on earth. When you are a good steward of your gifts and talents, when you use them for the benefit of other people, nothing is more satisfying. Your "sweet spot" gives your life meaning. It's part of your calling. It's why God created you and it's how He will fulfill His purposes through you. 

For example, one of my spiritual gifts is exhortation, or encouragement. I feel the most alive when I am encouraging others to have faith, trust God's plan and timing, follow their biggest dreams, reach their highest potential, etc. - this is my "sweet spot" in life.

Finding your "sweet spot" takes time. Yours may be leadership, teaching, administration, discernment, wisdom, evangelism - the list goes on! No gift or talent is better than another. You may have one, you may have many. Regardless, they are all important, they are all needed. 

If you're not sure what your "sweet spot" is, here is a Spiritual Gifts Test you can take that names your top three. Be honest and be confident. God wants to use you just as you are. 

You will know your "sweet spot" by the satisfaction it brings when used for the benefit of others. It's how God is going to use you to glorify Him and make disciples of Jesus Christ!

Find your "sweet spot" and then let it rip!

Webcasts, Summits, and God's Provision

I just wanted to update you on what God has been doing in my life. I wish I could find the words to fully express His faithfulness, but all I know to say is...

GOD PROVIDES! 

The best decision I ever made was when I officially let go of the life I had planned for myself and said, "God, it's all Yours. Take it! I trust You. Your plans for me are far better than the plans I have for myself. Here are my dreams. Take them and do with them what You will." 

If you read Releasing the Reins, you know surrendering my plans to God meant saying no to Los Angeles, CA and saying yes to White Oak, TX. I'm living at home and am pursuing public speaking, working to develop a platform via website where anyone can access my blog, links to my social media pages, and eventually podcasts, my YouTube channel, and clips of my speeches. 

As excited as I was to slowly build a platform, create a YouTube channel, and have my blog accessible through a website, I was even more scared. I didn't know the first thing about creating a YouTube channel, gaining influence, or generating more blog traffic. 

I knew God was calling me down this path, but I was walking down it blind. 

"Uh, God? I'll do it but um...don't forget, I was still using AOL until about a year ago, so I'm gonna need some help with this. Please teach me what I need to know."

Well, a few days after I publicized my new and improved plans, one of my precious Phi Lamb sisters messaged me. She sent me a link to a "Blog Camp" that Jefferson Bethke (Christian author, professional blogger and YouTuber) and Dale Partridge were putting on. It's a live webcast for people who are wanting to create an income blogging and start a YouTube channel...TWO THINGS I'M WANTING TO DO BUT KNOW NOTHING ABOUT! 

ARE YOU SERIOUS? 

I took one look at the website and KNEW WITHOUT A DOUBT this was an answer to my prayers and something I needed to do! I'm not one to buy ANYTHING on a whim (just call me Frugal Freda) but I registered for "Blog Camp" without a moment's hesitation. 

God had provided. 

Last Thursday, I was scrolling down my Facebook news feed and came across a post by Michael Hyatt about The Influence and Impact Summit. I clicked on the link and discovered it's a FREE conference where individuals who have great influence share what they did to develop a platform. 

I was registered for the event within SECONDS! 

God had provided....AGAIN!

There are 20+ speakers and among those speakers are three Christian authors whom I LOVE - Bob Goff, Lysa TerKeurst, and Jen Hatmaker!

The summit is Oct. 6-13th and then "Blog Camp" is Oct. 7th! What are the odds!? Not only will I be learning how to start a YouTube channel and create an income blogging, but I'll also be learning how to develop a platform! WHAT!?

SIDE NOTE: I don't know if I've told you this yet, but I dream of writing a book one day and I am SO EXCITED for the opportunity to learn from Christian authors who have been where I am! 

If I could do a cartwheel, I would. 

Okay, I know I just threw a lot of information at you but I just HAD to share because I am so excited about what God has been doing in my life! As my readers, you are such an important part of this journey and I want to keep you in the loop as much as possible. I cannot thank you enough for your loyalty. Your support means the world to me. It is my prayer that by sharing what God is doing in my life, you find yourself encouraged to look for His fingerprints in your life, too! 

This is an extremely exciting week for me and a very important step in my journey! I cannot even begin to tell you how thrilled I am to learn more about blogging, YouTube channels, and building a platform! I AM PUMPED! It seriously BLOWS MY MIND how much God has provided thus far...and it all began when I said no to myself/my plans and yes to God/His plans! 

And guess what?

There is no place I'd rather be than smack dab in the middle of God's will, doing things His way and in His time...whatever gives Him the most glory!

Vicky the Volkswagen

I was hanging out at T-Dog and Papa D's house one day when my parents called and told me to come outside. Manthy, Colby, and I walked out the door just in time to see the "Green Monster" pull into the driveway. 

It was hideous, the ugliest car I had ever seen, DISGUST at first sight. 

"WHY IS IT GREEN!?!?"

After getting over the initial shock that vehicles like this actually exist, my parents introduced me to my mom's new car, a 1998 Volkswagen Cabrio Convertible. 

They informed me that the previous owner had named "her" Vicky.

"Kristin, this is Vicky."

"Vicky, Kristin." 

I gave her some skin, asked the good Lord above to protect my reputation and keep me from being seen in that car, and went back inside Manthy's to eat taquitos.

A few months later, I turned sixteen. It didn't take a genius to figure out Mom had just been keeping Icky Vicky's (the adopted name I gave her) seat warm until I got my license.

FAST FORWARD

I passed Icky Vicky while I was driving the other day. We sold her the summer after I graduated high school. I needed something more reliable to get me to and from Kilgore every day. 

As I watched her zoom down Hawkins Parkway, I remembered all the laughter, the love. Tears flooded my eyes while memories flooded my mind. 

My relationship with Icky Vicky changed a lot between our first hello and last goodbye.

"I fell in love [with Icky Vicky] the way you fall asleep. Slowly, and then all at once."

Nothing about her was normal, but it was the little quirks that made her special. 

If you weren't paying attention, you'd be blinded by the black foam crumbs that blew out of her air vents when you took a turn too sharp. It was rare to receive a warning to help fight the foam, but when I could, I'd shield my passenger's eyes from the dangerous conditions. If "TAKE THE WHEEL!" came echoing from the vehicle, it wasn't because I was singing Carrie Underwood's 2005 Single of the Year. It was because there was a foreign substance scratching my cornea and you needed to call for help.

Unlike most vehicles, Vicky had two buttons on the steering wheel (within thumb's reach) that you'd click to honk her horn. As you can probably imagine, horn honking etiquette was not in my vocabulary. I'd honk right along to Brand New Key or Please Mr. Postman every time they played on the cassette tape. Yes, she had cassette player. Be jealous. 

Oh, she had the cutest honk. 

My friends and I loved "riding topless" in Vicky...and by "riding topless" I simply mean riding with her convertible top down. Vicky got a hole in her "shirt" once and like any Redneck Roughneck would, I patched it up with duct tape. This seemed like a good idea until I started driving. Now I had two problems. The tape flapped so much it sounded like I was being shot at every time I drove over 40mph...and the hole still wasn't fixed! I must say, Vicky wore both the flapping duct tape and "Aggie Mom" decal proudly. She was such a strong, independent woman. 

Vicky also had a MASSIVE trunk. I had EVERYTHING in there - an alien mask, a Snuggie, packages of toilet paper, car paint, basketballs, bubbles, paintballs, water balloons...just to name a few! We were always prepared to prank. Sure, to outsiders it appeared as if Vicky had a lot of junk in the trunk. But to insiders? One man's trash is another man's treasure. 

During the winter time, the door handle on the driver's side would stick so you'd have to either crawl out or have someone come open it for you. 

You know that whole "two is better than one" saying? Well, it's a lie. Two broken car handles is NOT better than one broken car handle. Trust me, I know. I once got locked inside Vicky because NEITHER door handle worked. 

No, the top wasn't down so please refrain from blonde joke references. 

I'm sure you're wondering how a gal like me could possibly get locked INSIDE a car. 

Me too. 

Stay tuned for the newest episode of Unsolved Mysteries: Side-Ponytail Girl Gets Trapped in Convertible w/ No Food or Water for 20min 

Towards the end of our relationship, when Vicky was at her sassiest, she began stalling in the middle of major roads. I'd often complain, "WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU!?" She'd stall again as if to say, "I think the real question is...what did you NOT do to me!?" 

Touché.

As it turns out, it was easier to sell Vicky than try to fix all her problems. She was in too bad of shape. 

I cried the day we sold her.

From dogs almost jumping inside her while driving down Shiloh Road, to buckling human tape sculptures in her front seat and parading "topless" around town, she made every trip worth the ride. 

My friends' parents still ask about her. 

"Kristin Koonce? Does that girl still have Icky Vicky?" 

No, she did what she came to do. 

She's bringing joy to somebody else's life now. 

This photo was taken my sophomore year, just a few weeks after I got my license. We had a basketball slumber party at Morgan's house. Rules were made to be broken, right? Right, because not only did I have more than one person in the vehicle, but I had SIX people in a car that only fit FOUR. New drivers also have a 12:00AM curfew, but as you can see from our war paint and party hats, we had a yard to decorate.

Vicky, John-David and I on our way to White Oak's prom...she was the third-wheel! 

I may have changed her birth name, but Icky Vicky changed my life.

I'd give anything to "ride topless" in her one last time.

We might not have had it all together, but together we had it all.

Reading the Whole Bible

After nearly 3 years, I have officially finished reading the entire Bible! 

It was, by far, one of the most challenging things I have ever endured but it has also been the most rewarding! Although "[Reading] the Bible Cover to Cover" WAS on my Bucket List, it was NOT a goal I wanted to simply check off. I added it to my Bucket List because I knew that, by writing it down, I was making it a priority. As Mark Batterson says in The Circle Maker, "If you haven't written down your goals, you haven't really set them." 

I wanted to read the whole Bible because I wanted to understand the Bible as a whole. 

Having grown up in the church, I was familiar with many of the stories in the Bible simply because I had heard them my entire life.

Adam and Eve
Noah and the Ark
David and Goliath
Daniel and the Lion's Den
Moses' Journey to the Promised Land
Jonah and the Whale
Samson and Delilah
Joseph's Coat of Many Colors

In fact, I could sing songs about many of these stories! From Cherub Choir, to Angelus Choir, to Bethlehem Choir, to Wesley Singers, to Youth Choir, I've participated in my fair share of church musicals. 

"Ohhhh, the tale of the whale is a whale of a tale! It's the story of the deep blue sea, about a fish and a man named Jonah who was a lot like you and me!" - Oh, Jonah!

"Samson, cut your hair! You want to be with it but you’re really square! Be guided by this golden rule: at your age, man, you should play it cool!" - Swingin' Samson 

"A technicolor promise painted in the sky, seven lovely colors pleasing to the eye. Glowing with a sparkle that fills the earth with light! Shining after every rain, a banner true and bright! A technicolor promise - RED! ORANGE! YELLOW! GREEN! BLUE! INDIGO! VIOLET! *waves pom-poms* AHHHHHH!" - A Technicolor Promise

As I got older, I gained an appreciation for context. Although I could tell (and sing) stories of the Bible, I wanted to understand their significance and how they played into the big scheme of things. In other words, I didn't really know the stories or why they were being told. 

I only knew the bits and pieces I'd learned in Sunday School. I didn't understand how it all fit together.

I wanted to know how the Old Testament related to the New Testament.

I wanted to know the context, the backstory, what was going on before/after major events.

I wanted to discuss stories in the Bible I'd read, not simply stories I'd been told. 

I wanted to know what I believed and why I believed it. 

Throughout the past 5yrs, I restarted my "end to end" expedition at least five times!

I tried reading it chronologically. 
I tried reading it historically. 
I tried reading the Old Testament first.
I tried reading the New Testament first.

I restarted (again) two Christmases ago and was finally able to stick with it. Here's what I did and what helped me: 

1) I got a new Bible! I did this for two reasons.
First, the print in my old Bible was too small and reading it would give me headaches/make me not want to read altogether. 
Second, I was using the ESV (English Standard Version) Bible I'd received in the 3rd grade that I couldn't understand very well.

For Christmas, I picked out a Large Print NIV Bible (I researched the most popular translation) and fell in love with it! I can actually see what I'm reading AND I can understand it! Well...for the most part! *wink, wink*

2) I downloaded a "Reading Plan" app so I could track my reading! 
This app allows you to pick out your desired reading plan, check off chapters after you've read them, and track your progress as you go. Being able to see the percentage I'd read thus far helped me persevere when I felt like giving up.

3) I started in the New Testament. 

The Old Testament is very (extremely, immensely, tremendously) hard to read/understand at times and I found that every time I tried to start in the Old Testament, I would get frustrated and quit. So, I read the New Testament first.

ADVICE: Do not (I REPEAT: DO NOT) put off reading 1 Kings, 2 Kings, 1 Chronicles, and 2 Chronicles for last like I did. With that being said, you should probably know that I skimmed through the genealogy and the preparations for building the temple. I'm sorry. I really am. I just...it was just...I'M SORRY! 

"Forgive me, Father, for I have skimmed."

4) I highlighted as I went. 

I began color-coding scripture at the beginning of the year to help with my studying. This helped me break apart what I was reading! Check out my post Hooked on Highlighting to see my method of highlighting! 

Although there is much (much, much, much, MUCH) I still do not know or understand, reading the Bible in its entirety helped me connect dots I didn't even know existed. For me personally, it's a lot "easier" to study a certain passage now that I am (for the most part) aware of what has happened/is about to happen.

The important thing to remember is this: It doesn't matter if you've read the Bible cover to cover fifty times or zero times. What matters is that you're reading it. Figure out what you believe and why you believe it. Take time to get to know His person, His will, and His ways. The Bible is the most important book ever written. It is God's "love letter" to us, to YOU! Prayerfully study it and let the Word change you! Be transformed. 

Website Coming Soon

In my recent post Grateful for God's Grace, I announced that I will be pursuing public speaking and that my friend was in the process of creating a website for me! 

With that being said, I have some exciting news! 

MY WEBSITE WILL BE READY IN 2-3 WEEKS! 

Everyone, meet Surprise Party Sue. If you haven't watched any of these videos performed by Kristen Wiig on Saturday Night Live, do it. You will be a better person because of it.

FUN FACT: A few years ago, I had the honor of playing this role for a skit at T-Camp. I now have a better appreciation for finger exercises. 

Two words: HAND CRAMPS

In his book Platform: Get Noticed in a Noisy World, Michael Hyatt notes that a website "is undoubtedly the single most important branding tool you can have." 

This website will be my first step towards developing a platform! It will be my "home base" where anyone can access video clips of my speeches, my blog, links to my social media pages, and eventually podcasts and my YouTube channel!

You may be wondering how I will manage having two separate locations for my blog. 

Easy shmeezy - I won't! 

When my website is finished, you will only be able to access my blog through my website. I will be switching from Blogger to WordPress, so the layout will change, too! Despite these minor changes, the heart and soul behind my blog will remain the same: to encourage you on your journey and walk with the Lord, as we "seek the sunshine" together and look for God's hand in every situation we face! 

No need to fret! I will take good care of you guys and provide all the information you need the closer it gets. I simply wanted to give you a heads up so you wouldn't be blindsided...PLUS I couldn't hold it in any longer! I'M SO EXCITED! The official countdown for the launch of my website will begin soon! 

Have a happy, happy Thursday, friends!  

My Fear of Praying Out Loud

I don't know about you, but until just a few years ago, I DREADED praying out loud.

Yes, you read that correctly.

The girl who would rather have a microphone in her hand than VIP tickets to a Taylor Swift concert (unless Ellen or Lisa Kudrow were making guest appearances, obviously) would pretend to become unrealistically interested in ANYTHING ELSE when her Sunday School teacher said those 8 horrifying words: "Would anyone like to close us in prayer?" 

THAT'S RIGHT! I DID IT! I'M NOT ASHAMED TO ADMIT IT EITHER!

I would've rather relived the night I ran into a parking pole, flew 10ft in the air and belly-flopped onto the pavement 18X than pray in front of my peers. 

For those of you who know that story, you know I mean business. 

I used to wing presentations all the time...but a prayer? Yeah, no. I need at least a 5min heads up if you plan on making my worst nightmare unfold before my very eyes...and a maybe a lawyer present, somebody of POWER! "ARREST THEM, OFFICER!" 

There was just something about praying out loud that made me forget how to...well, talk. 

I would panic.

Complete sentence? What's that? 

My neck stiffened as I secretly hoped the fire alarm would go off so I could be relieved of my distress. My prayers didn't sound anything like the other kids' and I just KNEW (after I got over the initial shock that my name was called, of course) my on the spot prayer would end up sounding like: "Father God...thank you for Sundays...um...and uh...thank you for this food...oh, wait...we didn't eat...ABORT! ABORT! I mean...um...Father God...peace be with us...Amen!"

That was just a risk I was NOT willing to take.

*flash forward to my sophomore year of college*

Ever since I joined Phi Lamb, I wanted to be a Pledge Trainer. When I was finally eligible to apply for the position, I spent DAYS working on my application. That rhetorical analysis paper that was due on Friday could wait. I pushed that baby on the back burner like it was a hot pot of freshly cooked rice and focused every ounce of my energy on that application. 

*submit*

As always, God had other plans. 

A few days went by and I received a phone call from my Chaplain asking me if I'd ever thought about being the Prayer Committee Head. She explained what the role would entail and told me to spend the rest of the day praying about it and that she would get back to me the next day. 

We hung up.

I cried.

"ARE YOU SERIOUS? *sobs* Is this a joke, God? If it's not, I will never laugh at anything ever again. You KNOW how much I hate praying out loud! I'm TERRIFIED! *sobs* WHY ON EARTH IS THIS HAPPENING? *gasp for air* Didn't you see how much time I spent on the PLEDGE TRAINER, NOT Prayer Committee, application? DID YOU??????? *ugly crying face freezes as I begin running out of tears* I DON'T UNDERSTAND! I don't know big vocabulary words! THIS IS NOT THE TASK FOR ME! I AM NOT THE CHOSEN ONE!" 

After my dramatic soap opera, I was sitting in silence rethinking the tragedy I had just endured when suddenly God placed a friend from high school on my heart. He said, "Text her." 

Huh?

"Text her."

So, I did. I pulled up "Little Male Cardinal" (she may or may not be a redhead) on my phone and began pouring my heart out to her, text by text. I told her EVERYTHING, every emotion, thought, doubt, and fear that was running through my mind. I told her how much I hated praying out loud.  

A few hours later, Lil' Male calls me and as she began reminding me of my basketball huddle prayers and how all I did was talk to God as if I were talking to a friend, I realized why God had placed her on my heart. 

OH YEAH!

I FORGOT ABOUT THAT!

I used to pray in our team huddle before every single basketball game! In those huddles, I wasn't trying to impress anyone. I was honest and felt completely comfortable asking, "God, please give strength to Tara's weak ankles that made her fall down in practice yesterday when nobody was around her" or "God, we are so scared of #49. Please be with the person that has to guard her...hopefully it's not me...but I know it won't be because I can't play defense. We almost died in practice yesterday...but you already know that. We are grateful You let us live to see this game. Please help us win, even though our legs feel like noodles. Actually, not even noodles...more like broth. Yep, broth. We are so grateful for the opportunity to play the game we love. Help us to glorify You every minute! Oh, and please don't let us get stomped at. Amen."

Yes, those were my prayers and yes, Tara really did fall clumsily to the ground while dribbling in seclusion, helplessly confessing, "I...have...WEAK ANKLES!"

If I was going to be the Prayer Committee Head, all I needed to do was talk to God the way I talked to Him in those huddles - like He's my friend...because He is! He's my pal, my buddy! 

Only Lil' Male could have provided the encouragement and reassurance I needed in that moment. 

We hung up. 

I cried again.

This time, however, I was crying tears of joy because that was just the conversation I needed to hear. I still didn't feel qualified, and obviously I couldn't pray in front of my sorority exactly like I did in front of my team (L O L), but I knew God would help me every step of the way, just as He had done numerous times before. My weakness would prove His strength and His power.

I called my Chaplain the next day and told her everything that had happened the night before. 

I was 100% down to boogie. 

Terrified, but still down to boogie.

I learned a LOT the following year serving as the Prayer Committee Head. My prayer life was challenged. My confidence and faith were challenged. Satan tried to tell me I wasn't good enough. He tried to tell me my words weren't impressive and that I was unqualified for the task. He tried to tell me that my prayers were too casual, I wasn't proper enough, etc. 

He tried to make me feel as if God were upset with me because of the way I prayed...as if I were talking to a friend.

You know what I said?

"GET BEHIND ME, SATAN!" 

You see, God doesn't care if we use SAT words when we talk to Him. He just wants to hear our hearts through our voices. Yes, even my East Texas twang! It's okay if we mess up and fumble over our words. He's not going to be disappointed if we accidentally say, "Thank you for filling our breath with lungs" (Yep, I said that at a meeting once...and laughed). We don't have to put on a fancy show, and we don't have to pray the way everybody else prays! He wants our simple, authentic selves. Talk to God in public the same way you would in private...like He's your friend!

One day, you, too, will be able to bless the food without calling for reinforcements. 

Advice from an Aggie

I recently received the opportunity to be a Campfire Speaker for Aggie Transition Camps. It wasn’t until after I graduated that I realized what I wanted to talk to them about. I'm an encourager, so that's what I wanted to do for the time I was allotted. Having been a transfer student and now being a Former Student, I thought it would be best that I speak from experience and encourage the students through an acrostic poem using the word A-G-G-I-E-S! 

Avoid settling.

Don’t settle for a major you hate or an unhealthy friendship/relationship that does more harm than good. Life is too short to be miserable. Recognize your self-worth and know what you deserve. Your happiness IS important, despite what others may say. What do you dream of doing? What is God calling you to do? You may not finish college with the same major and friends you started with, and that's okay. It's not the end of the world; it's for the best. Respect those around you, but don't disrespect and neglect yourself and your needs in the process. It's OKAY to be selfish at times if you're doing it for the right reasons.

Get involved doing what you love!

There are hundreds of organizations to get involved with on campus. Don’t join something just because your friends are doing it. It's important to devote your time to the things you're passionate about. If something is going to take up (even more) space in your calendar, it might as well be something you love! Not to mention, there are just as many lessons to be learned outside of the classroom! Don't be afraid to join an organization where you don't know a soul. Why? Because it's in those organizations you often find the rest of your bridesmaids or groomsmen. 

Go to class.

Not everyone is blessed with the opportunity to go to the college of their dreams. In fact, not everyone gets to go to college! Recognize that and don’t take for granted the time you've been given. Try to avoid skipping class because there are people out there who would give anything to be where you are and to have what you have. Remember, you’re here to get an education! Focus on that. You don't have to make straight A's (C's get degrees), but don't fail a class simply because you didn't go. I promise it won't be any better the second time around. 

Invest in yourself.

College is where you find out who you truly are. Make sure you take time to do just that. Figure out the type of person you want to be and plan accordingly. If you don’t like something, change it. Do what makes you happy! Discover your strengths and weaknesses. Explore new things. Find what makes you come alive. 

Endure the hardships.

I'm not going to lie, college is hard. You will fail tests, you will lose friends, and I hate to break it to you, but you will most likely have to be tutored in at least one class or another (Hello, MATH 141). You will be challenged. Your BELIEFS, and everything you stand for, will be challenged. Welcome those challenges with open arms. Learn from the hardships. They will ultimately shape the person you are becoming! 

Serve those around you.

E. King Gill “stood by in case his team needed him." In the same way, we should stand by, eagerly ready to serve whoever is in need, Aggie or not, with an enthusiastic smile and helping hand. Representing the 12^th Man is an honor and we should devote our lives to reaching out and serving others until we take our last breath.

Texas A&M University changed my life and I know it will change yours, too…if you let it! It is my prayer that you “bloom where you are planted” and make the most of every opportunity you’re given so that you can look back as a Former Student with confidence, knowing, without a doubt, you gave it everything you had and can enter the next chapter of your life without any regrets. 

The Importance of Integrity

"If you stand straight, do not fear a crooked shadow" was printed in black ink and hung just above my locker. It didn't take very long to figure out that if a quote was on the wall, Coach had it there for a reason. They were put there for our benefit so if we didn't fully understand what a quote meant, we needed to figure it out. 

After four years of running in and out of the Ladyneck Basketball locker room, I probably read that quote 300 times. I learned a lot playing basketball, but one of the most important lessons I learned is that walking with integrity is of utmost importance. If I made it a priority to do what was right in all areas of my life, it wouldn't matter what other people said about me. 

To this day, that quote remains engraved in the back of my mind. 

I think about it often.

In high school, it was not uncommon for someone to accuse me of being fake. They didn't think it was possible for someone to be "that" happy all time. 

They didn't understand. 
Heck, I didn't fully understand it myself! 

It troubled me that people thought I was being dishonest with them when in actuality, I really am a positive, joyful human being 92.5% of the time. It's just how I'm wired. 

I was confident in my joy, but their accusations made me question that confidence.

One day, I walked into the locker room just as I had done every day for the past two years. I glanced up at the quote on the wall I'd seen and read a hundred times, but this time it was different. For the first time, it stopped me in my tracks. It finally clicked. I understood. It didn't matter what people were saying about me or what they thought about me. All that mattered was that I was "[being] the same person privately, publicly, and personally." 

Ever since that day, I realized that if I was being true to my word, it didn't matter what I was falsely accused of. 

There are many values that make up a person. Integrity is the sum of those values. In other words, you have integrity if your actions consistently align with what you claim to personally value. What you do coincides with what you say. You walk the talk. You "do the right thing even when no one is watching." 

The qualities a person adheres to are meaningless unless that person has integrity. 

You can say all the right things, but until you prove it with your actions, you won't be heard. 

Proverbs 10:9 says, "Whoever walks with integrity walks securely, but whoever takes crooked paths will be found out."

People are always going to talk, but "if you stand straight, [you need not] fear a crooked shadow." 

Like I said, I learned a lot from the Ladyneck Basketball Program. It's no coincidence that as I sit here talking to you about integrity, I am reminded of the lessons Coach taught me without saying a single word. It wasn't just what she said, but what she didn't say, that made all the difference in my life. 

Question: Do your actions match your words? Are you walking with integrity? What needs to change so that what you say matches what you do? 

Reading Right

I wasn't much of a reader growing up. I hated reading. In fact, I didn't read a single book on the summer reading lists we received in high school. Actually...now that I think about it, there was a lot I didn't do in high school! Don't worry, I did the important stuff...like stop by the office to dip my fingers in the candle wax every day during Enrichment, use the "bathroom" pass to go get candy from the librarian, and help transfer the female hissing cockroaches into the male's container. 

Kids, don't try that home.

I'm sure you're wondering how I graduated. I ask myself that question every day. 

The world may never know. 

Anyway, I would read a few books here and there, but it wasn't until college that I fell in love with reading. Now, now. Don't get too excited! I still didn't read my textbooks. I did, however, perfect the art of skimming during assigned readings. My motto in college was, "Just keep skimming! Just keep skimming! What do we do? We skim, skim!"

As I got older, I realized it wasn't that I hated reading. I had just been reading the wrong books! I was reading books that didn't interest me and, as a result, thought I disliked reading altogether. In college, however, I began reading books about the things I'm most passionate about (Jesus, purpose, love, following your dreams, making a difference, etc.) and as it turns out, reading is a lot like fishing. I don't enjoy fishing when all I'm catching is catfish. If you're not familiar with catfish, their fins are extremely sharp and if you don't handle them just right, they'll make like Bon Qui Qui and CUT you! Plus they're ugly and nobody wants to catch an ugly fish. On the other hand, if I'm catching bass, I never want to put my pole down! 

If I only caught catfish, I'd never go fishing! In the same way, if I only read books I don't like or enjoy, I'd never read! 

I know we all have different preferences, but just in case you and I have similar reading interests, I wanted to share some of the books I've read with you! So, without further adieu, here is a "summer" reading list I actually stuck to! The books in purple were my all-time favorites. 

1) Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren
2) S.H.A.P.E. - Finding and Fulfilling Your Unique Purpose for Life by Erik Rees
3) The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson 
4) You're Made for a God-Sized Dream by Holley Gerth
5) The Journey of Desire by John Eldredge
6) Chasing Daylight by Erwin McManus 
7) Love Does by Bob Goff
8) Praying God's Will for Your Life by Stormie Omartian 
9) When God Writes Your Love Story by Eric and Leslie Ludy
10) Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers
11) Women of the Word by Jen Wilkin
12) Praying for Your Future Husband by Robin Gunn and Tricia Goyer
13) The Dream Giver by Bruce Wilkinson 
14) Heaven is for Real by Todd Burpo
15) Someday, Someday Maybe by Lauren Graham
16) 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess by Jen Hatmaker
17) Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst

If you would have asked me 5yrs ago if I read, I would've given you the stink eye, yelled "MOSQUITO!" and smacked you on the arm. You can thank Pinterest for that little maneuver. Now I douse my paragraphs in bright yellow highlighter, spend the day reading at the local coffee shop, and keep my books on my nightstand to read before I go to sleep! 

Reading changes a person.

Question: What types of books do you like to read? If you don't like reading...don't throw in the towel just yet! Who knows...maybe you've just been reading the wrong books, too!